1 Jul 2010

Is quitting a bad thing?

ελληνικό κείμενο

picture by Phuong Possible

It's the first post of this kind in my blog but I couldn't resist the call of Scoutie Girl, one of my favorite daily reads to talk about quitting.

I dropped out University when I realised that what I had chosen to study had nothing to do with who I am, what I wanted to do, what made me feel good. Until now I never regretted that I haven't made it to my degree. I know that I would never use it professionally anyway, simply because I would be unsuccesful, the way you are when you don't have the least interest for what you do. Moreover I am really convinced that if I continued those studies I would end up with depression. Of course the whole process was not bloodless, people were hurt and frustrated, and I received some negative criticism, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

The minute that process was completed and I had left my studies behind, I had also quitted something else: that self who wanted to be the good girl,  the one who wanted to please everyone, who would never say no,  who was deaf to her inner voice and couldn't really tell if a decision was hers or imposed by others-even in a not so obvious way.

After that quitting got easier. In the following years I quit quite a few jobs. Of course the circumstances helped too, as I had only me to support, it was easier to get a job then as a young person and my parents were there in case I needed them. I saw no point, when a job became boring, unsatisfying, or made me sick (there were a couple like this), why I had to go on torturing myself. Some people thought I was unable to adjust, commit or was crazy, o.k. I thought the same for them, young people, qualified, full of energy, stuck with jobs they hated just because in their minds, and only in their minds, quitting was not an option. As for commitment, I proved later that I can do this too. When I want.

I also quit on some people. I don't want this to be misunderstood. My best friends are still the ones from school, plus a couple more life brought in my way later. I am very loyal to my relationships. But yes, I quit on some people that proved not to be what I needed them to be: nice, supportive, understanding, listening, fun, sharing, bringing good energy in my life or just when we stopped having anything in common and anything to say. It saved so much time for me and them.

I still quit when I have to. My energy and time are priceless to spend on things and situations that are dead end.Quitting liberates you and makes space for a fresh start. Quitting on pointless things is as much important as committing to the ones that matter. And you always know which are the ones that matter.


Anonymous said...

my dear, what a thrilling subject, I could write a book on this.
I will only say that I had decided to drop out of university and after many years I changed my mind and I went back and finished, while being in a different country. I used to go back and forth Athens Milan once or twice a year to get my degree. I am telling you the satisfaction is enormous! It's a lot better than having no degree at all. BUT PLEASE don't take me wrong. IT'S OK TO QUIT things that you don't need or belittle you, especially if you have other options. I don't know how old you are but many things change with time; a degree on your CV is better than no degree at all. Wishing you the very best in life!

TinaA said...

I am old enough to be sure :) I am 39 now, and a mom of 2 boys,to make things clearer.I would be stupid to disagree, a degree is very important.And it was great that you went back and finally made it!Of course I'd like a degree, but certainly not this particular one. But when I quit back then life had moved on and decided not to go for another one for some reasons. I had the opportunity to do other things though. Best of luck to you too!

Annuk said...

Hi Tina, I really loved this deep and interesting post! Thank you for sharing your deep thoughts and personal experience! I admire you for your courage: quitting things, people, situations, jobs or places that are not doing us any good requires a lot of courage and is in my opinion a wonderful way to take care of oneself and not to make oneself unhappy. Often we stay in an unhappy situation just out of fear, it requires courage to be true to yourself!
Thank you for a truly inspiring post!

feel what I felt said...

When I read you post the first thing I thought was
“Maybe I am her twin sister in Greece!!!”
I took the decision to drop out University 2 months ago for the same reasons and I fell that it was right...I believe there is a point to everyone’s life when you just understand what you really want. That makes us redefine everything!
Maybe this means that we grow up a little & that we find our own way in life :)
Good luck to all